Life is what you make it - - it's a beautiful, wonderful, and a crazily confusing place at times. But with Faith, all things are possible. Faith reminds me that I'll get through the hard stuff, the stuff I rarely express or talk about.
I've always tried so hard to to be a good friend. It's just something I thought I was supposed to do. It's like if I really plugged into their reality, maybe my crap wouldn't feel so bad. I began getting lost in serving others. More than just what the Bible calls a servants heart. I was codependent. I was trying to fill my void by filling someone else's. Sure, that worked for a bit... Until God wanted to heal my wounds and my heart that was so lost I didn't even know what Mauriah wanted or who I was. I felt out of place, as I frantically ran on empty. I felt like a cat chasing it's own tail, just running in circles never going anywhere. How exhausting, really? But for so long this life consumed my inner being. My life was taken over by pleasing others and intern please myself, so I thought.
So much in my life was choking me up. I couldn't even breath. And then my husband was diagnosed with a horrible disease... And my world was shaken... But this time God was my sense of being and little did I know this life, this 'new normal' would unravel healing and so much more than I could ever imagine.
It's funny to look back on now, seriously. Or maybe sad is a better word... Either way, Struggling is part of life - it's like our DNA needs it so we can look forward to the good stuff.
I know someone needs to hear this truth and that's why I've decided to write about this journey of a new normal, everyday.
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